I am now minus 60lbs.. I can't believe how fast the first 60 has come off..
We had a great Christmas, things around here are going so well between us, as most of you already know, Carmine proposed to me on December 20...
We are facing a lot of changes in 2007.. First we want to move, I want to get a job and we are going to hopefully get married this year, depending on my weight loss.. I refuse to put on a wedding dress while I am still fat..
And I don't know if I will need any surgery done to get rid of any excess skin, etc, until the weight is off.. I am told I probably won't have to deal with that but who knows..
Carmine bought me something in a size XL the other day and it ALMOST fits.. An XL! Go figure!! And that is a REGULAR XL.. I am starting to feel like a normal girl again.. I cannot wait to be done with this transformation, I am looking so forward to having my life back, I feel that the weight has kept me from living..
I am damn near 31 years old and can't begin to explain to people how miserable I have been about my weight, especially these last few years..
I mean, most of my family members/friends have been on diets, have tried to exercise, have tried to be healthy.. But the majority of them have ever had to deal with being OBESE, to endure the ridicule from EVERYONE (even complete strangers), the looks people give you.. I don't know what was worse, the bitchy looks or the pity looks..
In the last 5 years I have felt myself lose control with my weight, I have felt myself slipping away and I can't explain to you how good it feels to walk in public now and not get stared at.. I mean, I am in NO WAY thin now, I still have quite a bit to go but I no longer feel OBESE, I now just feel overweight..
I have felt less than others for so many years now, I have felt worthless.. I have been through so much with this weight that I am so happy to say that I am losing this weight and beginning to be more confident.. I no longer fear looking someone in the face, I no longer stare at the ground when I am in public, I no longer care if others are staring at me and why. I hardly notice people anymore and it has been a while since I saw a "Oh my God, look at that girl" look..
I no longer care about the public's view of me... And I don't think that is JUST from the weight change..
In other good news, my insurance did cover the surgery.. My insurance company doesn't give approval beforehand, they want to see if it was medically necessary afterwards.. Kinda scary..
My surgery ended up costing $28,000+++ (I got the updated bill today) and they covered all but $952 of it.. Not sure where the other $952 will come from but I will try and pay it off as quickly as I can because I truly believe this surgery gave me my life back.. And that is worth millions to me..
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and I will talk with you soon..